Hooded Eyelids and Other Character Flaws

Just like for each of us in real life, character flaws can define who a fictional character is, where they are coming from, and why they are behaving the way they behave.

In a former job, a coworker continually shared facial exercise techniques to decrease the hooded above-eye area. I, Miss Slow-on-the-Uptake, didn't realize, until I interrupted her one day so I could finish a project and she drilled me with the "look", that the hooded lids she targeted were mine. (I get the title Miss Slow-on-the-Uptake honestly.)

Looking back, I wonder why was the hoodedness of my eyelids such a priority to this person?

If her suggestions came from caring, perhaps she would have come in early to help relieve me of some of my tasks so that I wasn't so hoodedly exhausted. Or brought back lunch from her two- to three-hour lunch break. Maybe, when she left work at 4PM, she might have even offered to take some of my workload home with her so that exhaustion didn't weigh down my eyelids so much.

Now, if she were a consider-the-source type of person, her upper lids would have been toned to the max, right? All the facial excercises she encrouaged would have tightened and toned such things as jowls and chins, so she might have been sharing out of enthusiasm... Nah. No learning by example there.

The WAY she presented the techniques is telling. She demonstrated the techniques loudly, in an office environment, sometimes in front of several others. A put down? An inner-office joke? A my-upper-lids-are-more-toned-than-yours taunt?

After I left the job, an amazing thing happened. Those upper eyelid hoods receded more than a bit. And guess what, thanks to that former co-worker, I have personally demonstrated exercises to take care of the rest of potential drooping hoods.

Honestly, because of the way I was raised to treat people and respect people's personal issues, her showing me what was "wrong" with me did not even sink in initially. I would never, ever point out so-called deficiencies. For instance, openly demonstrating neck, chin, and lower cheek-lifting stretches. How cruel and wrong is that?

Yet, the me of today, more than likely, due to life experiences since then, might respond differently. Likely, I would say something, at least I would after the light bulb that I was being targeted when on (the old uptaker is still in the slow mode). Odd are I might speak up about the sharing the work load might just help with the hoods. OR I might quip that if I had time for a bathroom break, I might be able to make time to exercise my face.

Possibly after a 90-hour work week (yeah, I worked more than a few of those), I might be exhausted enough to tap into that edgy side of myself, you know that part of us that we all have the creeps out every now and then, and told her to go show someone who wasn't working and actually gave a crap.

Or I might ask if she practiced in a mirror. (A not in-her-face zing that more than likely would have zoomed over her head.)

Characters too, react differently depending on their belief systems, environments, and motivations. How one character might act at the beginning of the book, may differ from how they interact at the end. Depending on where they come from internally, Character A might very well tell someone off, while Character B might run away in tears.

In fiction, as in real life, not everyone is nice. Some people are helpful because they truly care, some have an agenda, some want put other characters in their place, while others want to cause harm.

Those character flaws that cause a character to point out hooded eyelids, for whatever reason, add depth to fictional characters. And as readers, the why of this exhibited flaw being revealed as the story unfolds adds richness, connection, and relatability (either with the particular character or with being treated in such a manner in real life.)

Please excuse me now, I'm off to exercise my face, with a focus on my upper eyelids.

(Wouldn't former co-worker be proud!)

Today I Cried

Today, I wrote a scene that was difficult because the action was emotionally painful to write. I wrote, finished the scene, then cried.

The scene was so discomforting that I wrote the scene in short stints. In between the writing, I took time out to breathe, to pace, to stretch out the tightening muscles in my neck. During the writing, I focused on the action and the character's heartfelt reactions to the action. For the character, the scene was both heart- and gut-wrenching. When I finished the scene, I was heartbroken and hurting because of the character's plight and the character's reactions to adversity.

My primary job as a writer is to evoke emotion in my readers. If my writing does not elicit emotion within me, how can I expect my readers to emotionally connect or engage with my characters or my story?

My character is in dire straights. He's in deep trouble. He's hurting, sad, scared, lonely and alone. He is a child who has been yanked away from his normal world, is in far over his head, and is suffering.

These are my characters, therefore, I care. Why should anyone else care about my character's plight?

As a writer, my job is to give the reader something and/or someone to care about, by combining:

• Purposeful action, which moves the story forward
• Stimulus and response scenarios that makes sense
• Showing, instead of telling
• Relatable, realistic plight, conflicts, and challenges
• Character true to traits and self
• Growth arc true to the character
• Story arc proceeds in line with character arc

This scene made me cry, from compassion toward and caring about the character. I connected with the character. Isn't connection what most of search for our entire lives? You Can Write a Novel by James V. Smith, Jr. discusses Participation. I, as a reader, want first and foremost to connect with and to participate emotionally and mentally in the story and the characters journey.

Today, I wrote and I cried.

Getting Your Mad On (Sharing the Darkest of Emotions)

The final chapter of Book #1, Series #1, is filled with anger and grief. During the book, a five-year-old goes from a happy-go-lucky child to a willing destroyer, and in that last chapter, she destroys everything in sight.

Coming from a family where negative emotions were considered far too negative and were not to be experienced (don't cry, don't get angry, don't be upset), not pulling back from these emotions in order to share them is a challenge.

Reader's read for emotional connection. It's the primary job of the writer to make the reader feel. For writers, experiencing and facing dark emotions must proceed sharing those emotions. Bottom line, you can't share 'em if you don't feel 'em.

Fear, Anger, Hurt, Revenge, Grief, Vengeance, Hopelessness, etc., are all part of the real full-spectrum of human emotions, which includes these dark feelings despite attempts to ward them off by not living through them or acknowledging them.

When things happen, we experience the full range of emotions. Taking away the "dark" ones robs us of the ability to feel the "light" ones. (Sadly, we can't pick and choose between experiencing one type or the other.) So, we wind up with two choices: feeling or not feeling.

In the final chapter, the main character embraces her anger and grief, and get's her mad on, and when she does, bad things happen. Hmm, maybe in this case, warding off those emotions might have been a much better option, especially for those that get in her way.

Climbing Out of the Box

Years of excessive overtime: Was I working in to avoid feeling, or did I not feel because I worked such extended hours? Even during the death of my parents, two years apart, I experienced a surreal numbness that contained grief, yet left me with bottled-up emotions I did not deal with or experience.

During the past five months, as I've transitioned to writing full time, my emotional and physical healing from over-taxing myself for so long has been slow and yet extreme.

Amazingly, I have discovered that I feel.

Buried grief has surfaced. I have mourned, more deeply and severely, the death of my parents. I have also rediscovered intense anger toward those so-called family members that used and mistreated my parents in their latter years of life.

Social network postings bemoaning and whining about not being given second chances have caused me to realize that after a hundred second chances, when someone doesn't change and hasn't matured, more than likely they never will.

Letting go of such an intense emotional investment has been much easier than I could have imagined.

My feelings and caring are best experienced in situations and with people able to accept and receive such caring, with appreciation, and possibly reciprocation, although the latter is not a requirement.

My emotional rawness is bringing the emotional content of my writing to life. I've heard it said many times that a writer's job is to make the reader feel. I have to ask myself, how can a writer make a reader feel when that writer is not fully capable of fully experiencing their own emotions? An honest, hard-truth answer is that he or she can't.

My current story makes me cry--not the quality of writing, thankfully--and laugh, expect, fear, etc., all because my experiencing those emotions translates into my writing.

In the coming year, I will welcome readers' emotional connection to my characters and reader participation in my books, series, and stories now that I have climbed out of my self-constructed box.

Heartbroken, Hurting and Inspired

I am heartbroken. The cause or reason or source is of no consequence. The where and why doesn't matter. What does is that this heartbreak has brought inspiration for several future book ideas, all involving matters of caring, struggle, and of the heart.

Inspiration as to what to write comes from many directions and sources. Right now, the grief and pain and mourning I feel spurs emotions that working excessive overtime over a span of many years had long buried.

My emotions are raw. My hurt palatable. In time, I will heal. As part of this emotionally charged journey, I will tap into feelings, allow myself to experience them, and bring them into my writing. While so inspired, I will write.